Anything That Moves
by SeveRemus
Summary: Tony decides to take the Autopsy Gremlin out to dinner... MM slash. Post Jeanne & Agent Lee. AU of course. ONLY CHAPTERS 1 & 2 ARE POSTED. THE REST HAVE BEEN DELETED SINCE THEY WERE NOT IN COMPLIANCE WITH FF'S CONTENT POLICY.
1. Chapter 1

Anything That Moves

* * *

Tony sighed as he turned off his computer. Gibbs had head-slapped him over two hours ago with the injunction to go home and get some rest, but the prospect of spending the weekend alone in his apartment was enough to make him stay at his desk until all of his paperwork -- his most hated part of the job -- was completed. Now every "i" was dotted and every "t" crossed, so there was nothing for it but to leave the office. He did, however, have one last item to deliver to Ducky, so he headed to the morgue on his way out.

The problem wasn't that Anthony DiNozzo, the devastatingly handsome Senior Special Agent of NCIS, couldn't find a date for the weekend; the problem was that he didn't have the energy to find one, then go through the modern mating ritual of pretending to be interested in that person's life and pouring on the inimitable DiNozzo charm, just to have some sex. He had been caught in a haze of _ennui_ ever since the fiasco with Jeanne had blown up, and simply couldn't work up enough enthusiasm to find another partner -- even for a one-night stand. He had tasted too deeply of love, and could no longer be satisfied with lesser passions. But he wasn't sure what he could do about it.

_"What the hell is wrong with me?"_ he wondered, silently, in the elevator. _"I mean, I know I have commitment issues, but why can't I find someone that's just __**right**__ for me? Someone I would __**want**__ to stay with, forever, even if it meant having the ol' ball and chain?"_ He sighed again as he rubbed his tired eyes. _"Maybe it isn't me, but the women I've dated. Maybe they've all been wrong for me. Maybe I've been looking for the wrong type of woman. Maybe if I found a fat, frumpy girl, I'd feel like settling down... No. Definitely __**not!**__"_

He walked into the morgue and tossed the folder onto Ducky's desk, then realized that the lights were still on and that there was a figure hunched over a table in the far corner.

"Hey, Autopsy Gremlin! What're you still doing here?" he called.

"I-I was just about to leave," Jimmy replied, startled, turning around with a tube in his hand. "I wanted to extract some samples while the specimens were still fresh." He put a sticker on the tube while asking, cautiously, "W-Were you working on a case?"

"Nah, just paperwork," Tony answered, coming closer to see what the ME's assistant was doing, picking up and skimming the log. He knew he was only putting off the inevitable -- walking into the cold, empty apartment alone, with a box of pizza or some Chinese take-out as his only comfort. He stifled another sigh and glanced at Jimmy as he labeled a second tube, and noticed that the younger man looked flushed around the neck.

"Are you running a fever, Palmer?" he asked bluntly. "You look like you're burning up!"

He could actually see the flush moving up Jimmy's ears.

"N-No! I'm f-fine, you-you just... startled me!" he sputtered, his entire face turning red.

All of a sudden, something clicked inside Tony. The flushing, the nervousness, the eagerness to please... He'd seen all of these symptoms before, but had not recognized the tell-tale signs in Jimmy until now. He debated with himself for a split second, then made a rash decision.

"Well, if you're not coming down with some deadly flu virus or something," he said with deliberate calm, "you wanna grab a bite to eat? Maybe pizza, or some Chinese?"

"Ah-I-**What?!?**" Jimmy asked, dropping his marker in astonishment.

"You know, food? That tasty stuff you put in your mouth?" Tony queried in reply, raising his eyebrows. "You **have** heard of food, right?"

"Ah... Um... Yeah. I mean, yes, I have, and... yes, that would be... great!" Jimmy managed, still trying not to swallow his tongue.

"All right. You have a ride?"

"I, ah, take the bus."

"Oh! Well in that case, we can take my car."

Tony smiled, knowing his teeth sparkled dazzlingly, even in the fluorescent lights of the morgue. Jimmy seemed somewhat blinded by them.

"Um... yeah. So, I'll, uh... put these in the freezer..."

"You do that," Tony said reassuringly. "I'll just wait for you here."

He flipped through the previous pages of the log while Jimmy went to change out of his scrubs, and wondered if he'd made a big mistake.

_"The kid's obviously got a crush on you, DiNozzo,"_ he scolded himself, _"and you're gonna get his hopes up for nothing! Sure, he can't help it, you're hot no matter who's doing the judging, but that doesn't give you the right to __**toy**__ with him!"_

He ran his fingers through his hair angrily, making it stand on end in a rather becoming way.

_"I'm not gonna toy with him, it's just dinner, all right?!? It beats sitting at home watching reruns until you pass out on the couch! And besides,"_ he added, as Jimmy scurried back into the morgue in his street clothes, _"he's sorta cute, in a lost-puppy-please-take-me-home way."_

"So, what'll it be? Italian or Chinese?" he asked brightly, flashing his pearly whites again.

"Uh... Italian?" Jimmy said timidly.

"That's my man!" Tony beamed, thumping Jimmy's back with enthusiasm -- something he hadn't felt in a long time. "You can't go wrong with Italian!"

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Anything That Moves

* * *

Tony took Jimmy to one of his favorite Italian restaurants -- a bit fancier than pizza-in-a-box -- and teased and coaxed the younger man into talking about himself. He even regaled him with some of the more memorable cases he'd seen in his police years, and it was a credit to both of their stomachs that they could shovel pasta and marinara sauce into their mouths while talking about gruesome murder cases and blood spatter patterns. Tony insisted on paying -- "After all, I'm the one that invited you!" -- but Jimmy was determined to leave the tip, and Tony finally gave in after considering how he might feel in Jimmy's position.

"So -- your place or mine?" Tony quipped when they were back in his car, starting the engine.

"Ah-ah-**WHAT?!?**" Jimmy gasped, flushing a bright red again. The three beers he had downed with his meal didn't help with his cognitive abilities.

"Relax, Jimmy-boy," Tony laughed, thinking all the while how adorable the ME's assistant looked when panicking. "I'm not gonna eat ya! That is, unless you **want** me to," he added in a dark, sultry voice. He was delighted to see Jimmy turn pale, then bright red again, gaping like a fish. On an impulse, Tony leaned over to kiss that open mouth, grabbing Jimmy's jacket to pull him in closer. Probing with his tongue, he found that Jimmy's tongue, like the rest of him, was petrified.

Tony ended the kiss with a gentle parting lick of the younger man's lips, and felt himself growing cold sober again, despite the four beers he'd had.

"Hey... I'm sorry, if you didn't want to..."

Jimmy simply looked at him, stunned.

"Look, kid, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"You kissed me..."

It was said in a daze, with his gray-green eyes unfocused behind his glasses.

"Uh, yeah," Tony answered uncomfortably. "I said I'm sorry. I just got a little... carried away, y'know?"

"You kissed me," Jimmy said again, as though to himself.

"Yeah...?"

Tony went along with him carefully, wondering if there were a punch or a bitch-slap coming.

Jimmy stared at him, blinking and swallowing several times before he managed to say, "Do it again?"

* * *

The next time their lips meshed, Jimmy started to participate, and Tony felt both of their bodies responding to the stimulus. The older man pondered -- if only for a fleeting moment -- the wisdom of his actions. He was not drunk, but having been sex deprived for the longest dry spell since hitting puberty, he knew his judgment was probably impaired. His reservations were cast aside, however, when Jimmy slipped both hands around him, drawing him closer with a desire so consuming that his own groin caught on fire. Coming up for air, he panted in Jimmy's face, gazing deep into the gray-green eyes that now mirrored his.

"We need to get a room," Tony told him. "Let's go to my place."

"Okay," Jimmy breathed, nervously but happily.

* * *

How he managed to drive home without causing an accident would forever be a mystery to Tony. He guessed that he had set a new land speed record despite the Friday night traffic, and as soon as he had parked the car they both scrambled to get out of it and into the building. Jimmy had to chase him up the two flights of stairs to his apartment where, once they were inside and had shut the door, they both collapsed on the floor giggling with excitement.

"C'mere, you!" Tony growled, pulling Jimmy onto him in a tangle of arms and legs. As their tongues also tangled in another kiss, Tony ripped off Jimmy's jacket and shirt, throwing them haphazardly on the coffee table. He paused to admire the younger man's body, clad only in a sleeveless undershirt and jeans.

"Jimmy... You look good enough to eat!" he declared with utter sincerity. Jimmy blushed.

"Y-You always look good, Tony," he said shyly, averting his eyes. When he looked down, though, he noticed the bulge in the front of Tony's trousers, and blanched again.

"T-Tony, I... I never..."

"Don't worry, Jimmy -- I'm a trained professional!" he said, only half-teasing, then got up, offering him a hand. Standing up slowly, Jimmy continued to hold his hand as Tony led him into the bedroom, which was decorated in sedate greens and beiges.

"Oh!" Jimmy gasped. "This is... nice!"

"What? Not what you expected?" Tony grinned, removing his sport coat, shirt, and undershirt to reveal a prime example of male physique. His well-defined pecs were covered with a liberal growth of hair, which grew denser down the six-pack abs, especially below the navel. Jimmy's mouth hung slack as he took in the view.

"Um... yeah. I mean... I didn't know... what to expect..."

"Like what you see?" Tony asked, undoing his belt with a devilish smile.

"Oh... yeah! I like green. It's the... same color... as your eyes."

Jimmy's voice had gradually sunk to a whisper, but Tony heard every word. Tossing his belt aside, he stepped closer to Jimmy and grabbed his head in both hands.

"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy," he murmured. "How long have you been crushing on lil' ol' me? Hmm?"

He enjoyed watching him blush beet red, trying in vain to break eye contact.

"I-I just... I always thought... You're so handsome!" Jimmy blurted out, looking embarrassed enough to spontaneously combust. Tony rewarded him with a soothing kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah? That makes two of us," he smirked, and kissed Jimmy's other cheek more passionately.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

Anything That Moves

* * *

The rest of this story does not comply with FanFiction dot net's content policy and has been deleted. Please read this story in its entirety at my new website, TheaNishimori dot WordPress dot com.


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